Dedication:
As I began writing this article a few days ago, my focus (as always!) was on ageism. Yet, having people vanish from view, can be due to a variety of reasons, not just ageism. Reflecting on my own journey, I came to a harsh realization. I allowed a dear friend to my younger self to nearly disappear. There are myriad of reasons, but none worth remaining only a memory in each other’s lives. While I can’t be responsible for her, I must own letting her slip from my consciousness. I resolved to reconnect, and to do so with far more regularity, not just when she reaches out to me in crisis. I can be a better friend, a better human.
After speaking with her today, I think we both understood that friendships are not always easy to maintain. They can require hard work. Commitment. So this post is dedicated to my sister from another mother, SLG. ,
Sound Familiar?
Imagine this scenario. Once, you were the center of attention wherever you went. Compliments and smiles, were the norm. Your ideas were heard, your opinions sought, and your presence felt. But now, as you age, it seems like you have faded into the background, unnoticed and undervalued. Welcome to the world of the invisible woman.
The Shift to Invisibility
Like many women, in my youth I experienced a level of attention that, while seemingly flattering, sometimes bordered on predatory. The gaze of society seemed fixed on youth and beauty, often overshadowing a woman’s talents and intellect. They were seen, but not always for the right reasons. This attention, though sometimes problematic, at least affirmed their existence.
But what happens when the features that drew this attention begin to fade with age? For many of us, the transition from being highly visible to feeling invisible can be jarring. Society’s ageist tendencies often push older women to the periphery, dismissing them as past their prime and overlooking their contributions.
Personal anecdotes abound of women feeling invisible in professional settings, social environments, and even within family dynamics. Despite having gained a wealth of experience, their voices are often drowned out by the younger generation.
I find myself wondering how several generations of women may have set ourselves up. Something I read by a New York psychologist, Allison Carper best articulates my thoughts: “If a woman is complicit in a society where women are routinely objectified, she can’t help but start to feel invisible when society says that the ‘object’ is no longer desirable, relevant, or worthy of attention.”
The Impact of Invisibility
Being invisible isn’t just about external validation; it’s about internal worth. When society stops seeing someone, it sends a message that they no longer matter. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, depression, and a loss of identity.
Many older women find themselves grappling with these emotions, questioning their place in a world that once seemed to revolve around them. Their valuable contributions, once celebrated, are now ignored, leading to a profound sense of loss.
The truth is, invisibility is actually dangerous. As an older woman, you may have found yourself subject to exclusion from the workforce, or silence in terms of meaningful social policy. Invisibility can lead to financial instability, homelessness, bad health outcomes, even elder abuse.
Valuing Experience Over Appearance
The irony is that with age comes a wealth of knowledge, resilience, and strength. Older women have navigated life’s complexities, building a repository of wisdom that younger generations can learn from.
Yet, ageism blinds society to this immense value. Instead of celebrating the experiences and insights of older women, we fixate on youth and physical appearance. This is not only a disservice to these women but also a loss for society as a whole. We need to shift our focus from appearance to substance, from youth to experience.
We Can Battle Ageism Together
Combatting ageism requires a collective effort. Here are some steps we can take to change the narrative:
- Acknowledge the Issue: The first step in addressing ageism is recognizing that it exists. We need to acknowledge the biases we hold and the societal structures that perpetuate them.
- Celebrate Achievements: Highlight the accomplishments of older women in various fields. Share their stories and celebrate their contributions, both past and present.
- Create Inclusive Spaces: Ensure that spaces—be they professional, social, or familial—are inclusive and respectful of all ages. This means actively seeking and valuing the input of older women.
- Educate and Advocate: Use platforms to educate others about ageism and advocate for policies that support older women in all aspects of life.
A Final Thought...
The invisible woman is a poignant symbol of the ageist attitudes that pervade our society. We have the power to change the story. We can put forth effort to recognize and value the experiences of older women, and begin to combat this issue. Let’s advocate to create a world where no one feels invisible, where every voice is heard, and where wisdom and experience are celebrated.
"I think for a woman, the hardest thing about growing old is becoming invisible. There's something very front and center about being young."