IS THIS AGEIST? HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
My Story: Part 2 of 3
Over the past twenty years, my career has been an incredible journey, filled with challenges and rewards. Looking back, I realize how deeply immersed I was in work that I truly loved, alongside colleagues whom I greatly valued. However, unbeknownst to me, the inevitable storm brewed within senior leadership, ready to deliver its turmoil.
It all began in 2019 with a promotion that required relocating from Northern California to Southern California. After multiple rounds of interviews, I was offered the job. The promotion came with the added benefit of the company covering our home sale and relocation expenses, leaving me feeling immensely fortunate. At the time, I couldn’t help but think how lucky I was to still be valued at my age. However, it wasn’t until later that I realized I had dodged a bullet. None of the interviews took place in person or via video calls. It was like one of those dating shows where people don’t meet face-to-face until they’re already involved. My interviewers only saw my record. Heard my energy and learned of my expertise. They didn’t see my grey hair and aging face until I had already started the job.
Fast forward to 2021, after the cloud of COVID cleared, my husband and I finally settled in Los Angeles. Initially, we rented a home while I transitioned back to working full-time in an office setting. It quickly became apparent that most, if not all, of my co-workers were significantly younger than me. Yet, I remained undeterred. For years working from home provided only my dogs for company. Who wouldn’t love this bustling state-of-the-art campus? This environment became a place where I truly thrived.
Change Was In The Air
I excelled in my job and had great relationships with everyone. I enjoyed working with ad agency representatives and legal, as well as messaging our customers. It was a lot of fun. Initially, I was part of two product divisions that later split up. I was then assigned to a new area under a different manager, who I will call Donna. This job quickly became one of my favorites because it allowed me to be creative and contribute to the organization’s success in customer experience. Donna was a supportive and independent thinker, unimpressed by the constant reorganizations and new Assistant Vice Presidents (AVPs) that our company was known for. She simply referred to them as individuals she had to train. I carved out a niche that didn’t exist before I joined this team and succeeded in all aspects of the job. Leadership regularly recognized my efforts, rewarding my efforts with numerous bonuses. Everything seemed to be going well, so what could possibly go wrong?
Donna hired a bright, new team member. She was considerably younger than me, and would partner with me on a mounting workload. Our collaboration would bolster the effectiveness of our customer service representatives. HR told Donna that this new person was only a first-line manager, so could not be promoted with this transfer. She could be promoted later, but would have to join our team without a formal promotion. Surprisingly, it later emerged that this new team member immediately received the higher rate of pay that I had eagerly anticipated to accompany the second-level manager level I held.
Near the end of 2021, I decided to explore new opportunities. I wanted a different challenge and a chance to learn more about the marketing aspect of the business, so I applied for a couple of promotional opportunities. Around the same time, we a new Assistant Vice President (AVP) was assigned to lead our organization. I will call her Karen. Donna knew that I was actively looking for a new job and didn’t seem thrilled about the possibility of me leaving, as I was considered a lead on her team. However, despite reminders during every review period, the promised promotion in title and salary increase never seemed to materialize during the year I worked under her. I never pushed too hard, but did consistently remind Donna of the promotion she had promised.
Ageism Lives Here
Near the end of 2021, my small team had a series of brainstorming sessions at the behest of our AVP, Karen. The topic was finding new ways to attract and retain customers for our product. Ideas flowed freely. Acting as the scribe, I recorded verbatims during the call.
During the discussion, a team member brought up the subject of our “older” customers. She suggested not only attracting this group but also retaining them. Suddenly, the conversation shifted to portraying older people as different, with limited understanding of technology. Phrases like “most of them probably still had flip phones!” were thrown around. In response, I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Are you kidding me?”
Then, my recently hired teammate spoke up, clarifying, “I think I misspoke. My Dad, for example, loves his iPhone. He can’t wait for the next new one to come out, and he is in his 60s!” I responded that this would be like me saying I have Hispanic friends over for dinner once a week.
At that point, Donna interrupted the discussion and asked if I had a problem. Of course, I did. I informed the team that this conversation expressed ageism—plain and simple. I emphasized that I had been an instructional designer for HR and developed many compliance and diversity courses. I know this topic. I am this topic! I expressed shock and disappointment at the overall tenor of the call, especially considering that I would turn seventy on my next birthday. My statement was met with gasps of surprise, indicating that no one on the team realized how old I was.
Adding Insult to Injury
Donna and I had a brief discussion after the call regarding the team’s perspective on our older customers. Her first question was to ask why I would tell everyone how old I was? I expressed I was not ashamed of my age. I was simply trying to point out we should not paint an entire group of customers with such a broad brush.
She asked me for diversity and awareness course recommendations for the upcoming year, to which I provided a list. I also emphasized that ageist viewpoints were not limited to our team. They were prevalent throughout the organization, affecting all generations. I personally experienced ageism from both leaders and coworkers.
Our conversation concluded amicably. A few days later, Donna’s Christmas present arrived. It was customary for managers to send their team members holiday gifts. Everyone could expect the same scarf or a box of cookies. Opening this year’s gift from Donna was shocking. Last year, she sent all of us a box of cookies. This year’s gift had me crying and yelling at the same time. Even my closest friend wouldn’t have given me such a gift: youth serum. In a word, it was painful.
In my next article, I will discuss how the year unfolded, and turned me into a blogger. I could have pursued an age discrimination law suit. But after consulting with legal counsel, I was drawn to a different path. Your circumstance may be different. Let’s discuss next time.
I write this as my former employer just issued 1,000 layoff notices, primarily targeting older employees. I hope you will continue reading to learn more.
How Would You React to This Holiday Gift From Your Manager?
"Ageism is a denial of one of the greatest resources any society can have, which is the experience, wisdom and insight of older people. ."